Something Lost, Something Found
by Sneffita PT
Summary: Harry discovers that everything he knew wasn't as it seemed. Now he has to deal with the betrayal and venture in a path of his own. Will he find someone along the way? Or will he have to go against everyone alone? [[Mature Content]] [[Lemons]] [[Slash]]
1. Prologue – Enlightenment

**_[[Summary]] _**_Harry discovers that everything he knew wasn't as it seemed. Now he has to deal with the betrayal and venture in a path of his own. Will he find someone along the way? Or will he have to go against everyone alone? __**[[**__Mature Content__**]] [[**__Lemons__**]] **__**[[**__Slash__**]]**_

**_ [[A.N]] _**_Takes place after Harry's the end of 5__th__ year. Harry will be very out of character. It won't follow the story line completely. It has Dumbledore and other characters bashing._

_There will be lemons, so if you don't like it and want to skip it, it will be marked in this way__**: [Start of Lemons] **__and __**[End of Lemons]**__._

_This is my first Harry Potter AND Lemons Fic, so I hope you have pity on me and won't be to mean if it's not that good. Of course I want to know your opinions, so please leave review, but let it be a constructive one._

_There is also the doubt on my part if this will be a Crossover or not. I want your opinion on this aspect. If it's a Crossover it would be a Harry Potter – Naruto one. It will always be Slash, one way or another. It just changes that if it is with Naruto that it will probably have a Sequel, and if it's not there won´t be one. And of course there are other elements to add if it is one, but not to prolong this, just let me know what you think you would like more._

**_[[Disclaimer]]_**_Everything that belongs to J.K. Rowling is hers, the rest is all mine __**^_^**_

* * *

**_Prologue – Enlightenment _**

**_July 6th_**

The night was calm. The only sound you could hear at the street of Privet Drive was the soft summer breeze and the nocturnal animals. Everyone was asleep but one person in the house with the number 4. In the smallest bedroom you could see the silhouette of a boy in the dim light, sitting on his bed, surrounded by parchments and writing furiously on another piece with a quill.

He was small and skinny for his age, due to years of malnourishment and abuse, but there was a beauty to him that couldn't be found in many people. He was lean but with slightly defined muscles, small but elegant long-fingered hands, black messy hair, oval face with high cheekbones, full red lips and the most vivid emerald eyes you would ever find.

Normally those eyes would be shining with curiosity and even a little amount of happiness, but now all you could see in them was sorrow, pain, fury and betrayal. All of these emotions Harry Potter had experienced at some point in his life, but never like this, never to this magnitude.

The more he wrote the more his furry and felling of betrayal rose. Much like the things in his Headmaster's office did, the ones in his room started vibrating. But before anything exploded like that time, he noticed that it was happening when his bed started to shake. He stopped writing and started taking deep breaths and meditating to calm down and control his emotions.

It wasn't the first time it happened after he arrived back to number 4 and it probably wouldn't be the last. But since he started practicing meditation he noticed that it was starting to help with containing his emotions. This was good, because the only way for his magic not to get out of his control was to keep his emotions in check.

He had only started meditating in preparation for building his Occlumency shields to keep Voldemort out of his head after deciding to take matters into his own hands because of the DOM debacle. He had set out to find a book about the mind arts in the Restricted Section of the library before leaving school, and discovering what exactly he was supposed to do beside "Clear his mind".

That it had ended up helping with his haywire magic was a bonus that he couldn't be more grateful for. And he so needed a way to control the rollercoaster of emotions that he had felt for the last couple of weeks.

In the parchments that were on his bed you can see the events that took place from the time he lived with the Dursley's, his supposed family, to every year that he has been at Hogwarts. It had everything, from everyone that he knows to every memorable event that took place in his 15, soon to be, 16 years of life. He had been writing everything he found important since he returned "Home" one week ago, and with each passing day his sorrow and the felling of betrayal kept growing.

Everything in his life had been a lie, everything had been a manipulation. Being left with his aunts family, the first person he meet, the first friend he made, the house he chose to be in at school, who he meet, when he meet them, how he was supposed to feel about them, every danger he had been in, what he was supposed to learn, how he was supposed to behave, the way he saw the wizarding world. Everything had been conditioned into him by one person.

That person was someone that was supposed to be a role model, a leader; a teacher that should guide them to be the best that they could. Someone that he had considered the grandfather he never had. Albus Dumbledore, his Headmaster, Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot and Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards. But instead of doing all that, he had been raising him to be the perfect Weapon, the perfect Icon of the Light, and to finally one day be the perfect Martyr.

And now, the only thing that was actually real in his life, the only person that for once wanted him for being just Harry was dead. He had wanted him not because he was the boy-who-lived, not because he was the weapon against Voldemort. Sirius was dead, again in great part because of Albus bloody Dumbledore.

If he had told more, if he had been informed of why he had to learn Occlumency from Snape, if he had learned it from someone else, that would have actually put some effort into teaching it and not just into mind raping him and making him suffer, if he had known about the fucking prophecy, if he had been trained from the beginning for what was expected from him, if's…if's…if's.

They kept repeating themselves in his mind, and even though he knew he couldn't change it, his heart still squeezed painfully and broke a little more each time he remembered Sirius falling through the Veil with a mischievous smile on his face.

Sirius, his godfather and the one that would soon have been the father he never had, was gone. After spending thirteen years of his life with nothing but suffering because of being sentenced for a crime he didn't commit. And then after that having to live on the run and hiding for two more years, he was dead. Without ever having lived, without having been happy and free for so long, he was gone.

And even though he wanted to blame it all on Dumbledore he couldn't, because it was his fault too. Because he didn't think, he didn't stop and evaluate the situation from all perspectives like he used to do before he started going to Hogwarts, because he was ashamed of his Slytherin side and suppressed it for so long, even though it was what had saved him until he was 11.

It had been what saved him from the many times his cousin and his gang decided to play "Harry Hunting". It had been what saved him from starvation because he learned to shut his mouth and work fast from an earlier age and sneak food behind his aunts back. It was what saved him from many beatings for being more intelligent than his cousin, which made him do worst on his school tests on purpose to pacify his uncle and aunt.

He still listened to some of it when he was at Hogwarts. Like when he downplayed his intelligence, making sure he did worst on his tests then Hermione in every class besides DADA, and guaranteeing no one knew he learned many things besides what he did in class by studying them after curfew and often sneaking into the Restricted Section of the library and reading books under his invisibility cloak. He made sure to be baited by Malfoy every time he tried to get into a fight with him. He pretended to only want to have fun and like an easy school life just as Ron did.

And now he was happy he decided to behave like that, for who knew what Dumbledore would have done if he found out how different he actually was from how he acted. But even though he did all this so that he wouldn't lose the first friends he ever had, and so he wouldn't feel so alone and unloved again, he still felt like he lost it all in the end.

At some point during all this, he had started to bury his Slytherin side and really started to think like the impulsive Gryffindor everyone wanted him to be. He started being pushed around and going with the flow without giving it a second though like they expected him to. And because of that he had lost Sirius. Because of that he had been blind to the Headmasters manipulations. And he could blame no one but himself for that.

He now knew he had no one but himself to count on, and that was what he was going to do. He was going to dig out his Slytherin side again and throw out his Gryffindor side, and he would get revenge on everyone that had made his life the way it was.

But first he had to make sure who he had to get revenge on, and who had been manipulated just like him, and that even If they had been, if they could be counted on or would just turn on him. Because he wouldn't let the Headmaster keep doing this, he wouldn't let him play with people's life's as if they were pieces in a chess game.

In the end the only difference between Dumbledore and Voldemort was the lack of Muggle killings on his part. He still ruined people's life's, he still thought himself above them, and felt like they should be happy to die for his great vision, for his continued place at lime light, for his notion of "The greater good".

And it wasn't just Voldemort and Dumbledore that were a problem for the wizarding world. The Ministry of Magic was one to. It was full of corruption, with people only interested in what they could get for doing the job they should be willingly and happily doing, and even then, if you have enough money, they won't even care if they agree with it or not; or even if it will destroy other people s lives.

The Wizengamot was no different. While it should be passing laws to protect and give a better way of life to everyone, and also give fair trials to criminals. But in truth it was also full of people trying to further their own agenda. You only had to look at Sirius that didn't receive a trial, and Lucius Malfoy that even though he had been caught in the debacle that happened at DOM was kept free by bribing some people.

But the worst of all weren't them. It wasn't Dumbledore, or Voldemort, or the Ministry, or even the Wizengamot. No, it was the people of wizarding Britain.

They were the ones that allowed these situations to happen. They were the ones that would always hide every time Voldemort and his Death Eaters attacked instead of fighting back, even though each person carried with them a weapon everywhere, and outnumbered them by so much if they worked together. They were the ones that allowed other races to be discriminated against and treated like animals just because they were considered Dark.

And then because of that, those races, those PEOPLE had so many restrictions placed on their lives that they couldn't even make a living. They were constantly looked at in fear and hatred; and sooner or later most of them ended up being swayed by Voldemort into joining him. Because no one else even thinks that fighting for their rights is worth it. Not that Voldemort was any different. But even though they knew that he was only using them, there was no other choice. They were tired of the discrimination that had been happening for so long that they had no hope left, and turned to the only person that offered to make it better.

All this because people didn't understand, didn't see that there wasn't only Light and Dark. That Dark didn't necessarily mean Evil. That it was all about intention, that it didn't matter what kind of magic you used, it was all about the intention you used it with. That a creature that is considered Dark, like a werewolf for example, that it didn't mean they were Evil, or any more dangerous than any other wizard besides on the days of new moon, and that if precautions were taken, that not even then, that they were just like anyone else.

The truth was that they had been so brainwashed since Dumbledore became Headmaster and head of the Wizengamot that it wasn't even their fault. Generation after generation, learning only what he wanted, learning to consider anything that was even a little Dark and that wasn't considered Light as being Evil. And then having that notion reinforced by having laws forbidding the use and learning of so many types of magic that had been used since ancient times. Magic that was now considered Dark because someone put it in their heads that it was so.

And that was one of the reasons that the Purebloods joined Voldemort and resented muggleborns. They were the ones that were suffering and losing the ways of their ancestors. The ones that couldn't use their family's magic freely and without being afraid of being thrown into Azkaban. Not to say that it gave them the right to torture and kill, but it was the initial reason, and what Voldemort used from the beginning to get them on his side.

It was also because of Dumbledore always trying to open the wizarding world to the Muggles, with his thinking that both should live together. He did so by bringing the Muggle celebrations and ways of life into the wizarding world, and discarding their own.

The fact that their children's education suffered with the lack of knowledge from the muggleborns, because they spent their first year learning things that the Purebloods and Half-Bloods had learned since they were small children was another reason.

And finally, Dumbledore's clear favoritism of the Gryffindor house and muggleborns, and his subtle encouragement of the biased idea that everyone that was in Slytherin was evil. Always making sure the rivalry between those two houses grew by putting them together in the same classes, and turning a blind eye to most of the things the Gryffindor's did.

This created years of hate and certain stereotypes being associated with each house, creating a division in the wizarding world, which in turn created even more discrimination, forming a never-ending cycle of hate and separation of the wizarding people.

Harry understood how they had become like that, how they were so blind to the manipulations that happened in their daily lives. But he just couldn't understand how he had allowed himself to become one of them.


	2. Chapter One – Harry Potter's Rebirth

**_ [[A.N]] _**_Hello everyone^_^_

_Thank you so much for all the support and for even reading it. _

_Just so everyone knows, this fic will be updated once every week. I would make it more but I want to have time to always be one chapter or more ahead so that I don't keep you waiting for longer than that._

_I almost lost everything yesterday because of a virus. I was stupid and forgot to keep a copy saved somewhere besides my laptop. Thankfully I was able to get ride of the virus without losing what I had._

_Hope to keep hearing your opinion and that you enjoy the fic._

_Oh I almost forgot, if anyone knows of anyone that would like to or even knew who would want to be my beta or pre-reader I would appreciate all the help I could get._

**_[[Disclaimer]]_**_Everything that belongs to J.K. Rowling is hers, the rest is all mine __**^_^**_

* * *

**Chapter One – Harry Potter's Rebirth**

**_July 10_****_th_**

He had finally finished writing down everything he could think of about his years at Hogwarts and figuring out everything he could from those notes, his last talk with the Headmaster and the conversation he overheard between Ron and Hermione a couple of days before.

Harry still couldn't believe everything he had overlooked these past years. All the deception from people he loved and that he thought of as family, from people who said they would always be there for him. It was amazing how your perspective on things changed once you knew all the facts. If he hadn't heard the talk between the two he considered his best friends he would have never suspected and noticed half the things he did in the last week of school. He still felt like crying each time he remembered it.

**[[****_Beginning of Flashback_****]]**

_Harry was walking down the halls of Hogwarts a little after curfew under his invisibility cloak. He was trying to digest what he found out from the Headmaster the day before couple with losing Sirius and had decided that a walk would help him clear his mind. _

_He looked down at the Marauders Map to see if there would be any Perfects or Professors in the next corridor and saw Ron and Hermione entering a little secrete passage that was covered by a tapestry together._

_ Deciding to go and talk to them he made his way to where they were. He had told them that he was going to stay in the dorms because his head hurt, but now that he was here he decided that it would be good to be with them a little more before having to go through the summer without seeing them._

_As he came closer he started hearing their whispered conversation. They seemed to be fighting so he stopped just outside the tapestry unsure if he should interrupt or not. He decided to listen in for a moment to figure out what they were fighting about so he could decide if he should step in or let them sort it out between themselves. Peeking into the passage he saw Ron lying against the wall and Hermione with her arms around his neck._

_"…not what he said we would be doing. He only said we had to keep tabs on him and inform him of everything that we thought was important, not that we had to risk our lives playing hero with that attention seeking cry baby." Ron said with clear anger. _

_"I know Rony. We already had this conversation before. You have to remember that the Headmaster wouldn't have asked us to do this if he didn't think we were capable of doing it. This just shows that he trusts us, and that we are stronger than anyone else because we keep getting out of the things we are forced to get into because of Harry being so dumb." Hermione whispered soothingly._

_"The only reason I'm doing it is because of the money he is giving me. I can't believe you only asked for books when he talked with you in our first year about spying on Harry." Ron sighed. "I wish I could use the money now…"_

_"No Ron you can't!" She interrupted harshly. "You know no one can find out about this. The Headmaster would not be happy with us if Harry or someone who wasn't supposed to know found out. And it would be suspicious if you had a lot of money all of a sudden when everyone knows your parents have money problems."_

_"Urgh! I know Mione, but if I have to put up with Harry's winning about that mutt of a godfather, I should have some sort of compensation now. Thank Merlin that Summer Vacation is starting and we won't have to send letters to him since Dumbledore told us he needed to stay isolated from the wizarding world this year."_

_"Yea. He's going to give Harry the excuse that he can't go to your house or to the Headquarters because of Voldemort being finally found out and that he will probably get bold during the summer."_

_"I know I was there when he told us that remember. I just hope his relatives are extra nasty to him. Maybe that way he will…"_

_Harry couldn't hear any more of what they were saying or he would lose control of his magic again. He took off in the direction he had come from and decided to go to the Room of Requirements to blow off some steam. There was no way he could look at them right now without punching Ron in the face or worse trying to kill them._

**[[****_End of Flashback_****]]**

Now that he knew all of this he could see everything so clearly. How it was so strange for a Pureblood family to be entering trough the Muggle side of the platform, giving the perfect opportunity for him to meet a Light orientated wizarding family. How the first person that he meet was the pure hearted and gullible Hagrid that is so blindingly loyal to Dumbledore. How both Hagrid and Ron didn't like Slytherin's and ended up making Harry have such an aversion to that house that he asked the Hat to put him anywhere but there. And all that didn't even start scratching the surface of all the things he was sure had been manipulations from the Headmaster.

Before learning about the wizarding world he wouldn't have fallen for these manipulations. He had always been open-minded. Even if someone told him that something was wrong, or that he shouldn't talk to someone for whatever reason, he would only believe it or not after searching for his own answer, after forming his own opinion.

He had learned from an early age how people could be if they didn't like something. He just had to look at his family and how they were always degrading him, and he learned not to take everything that people told him at face value. He had always made sure to look at everything from all the different perspectives he could find.

It was as if ever since he entered the wizarding world his mind and personality had been completely altered. He was sure that if the Sorting Hat had a look into his head right before his last meeting with the Headmaster were he found out about the prophecy that it wouldn't have wanted to put him in Slytherin anymore.

And that was what bothered him the most. It just isn't normal for someone to change so much, so quickly. Now that could look back with an unclouded mind, he could see that it had started from his first year and gotten worse every year. Each year he started thinking and acting less and less as himself.

But the most disturbing part was that after his magic had exploded in the Headmasters office it was like a fog had been lifted from his mind and he was able to see everything in a different light. He had started thinking and being able to act like himself again. It was as if whatever was altering his behavior had disappeared.

He also noticed an increase in his magical power, and an easier access and manipulation of his magic when he didn't have any strong emotion like that time. This could only mean that he used to have some kind of block on his magic before, and something that hab been altering his behavior, and that both were probably broken when he lost control and destroyed the Headmasters office .

Harry hadn't had time to research about the changes in his personality before leaving school but it was one of the first things he was going to do once he finished figuring out a plan of action for everything he wanted to accomplish before going to back to Hogwarts. For that he had started writing a list of everything that he had to do so he could accomplish as much as he could during the vacations.

But he knew that he couldn't call too much attention onto himself. He didn't know yet who he could trust from the Order and so he had to be extra careful since they were watching his house. Just for his safety of course. So that it would be easier for him to move around he had started writing down their schedules from the first day of being back from school.

The talk they had with his uncle at the station at least had helped, and his family had decided that the best course of action would be to mostly ignore him. The only thing that didn't change was them not feeding him enough. But changing that was already on his list of things to do.

Harry decided to check his list of goals for this summer one last time before starting his plans to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything or was leaving something more important for last.

**0_0_0_0**

** [[Harry Potter's Rebirth]]**

**1. Visit Gringotts and ask about: **

Potter account

Parents Will

Ways to withdraw money without having to visit vault

Anything they might have to ask or inform him of. Or if they can help him in any way

**2. Shopping in Diagonal Alley for:**

New Trunk – Multiple-Compartments For:

-Clothes

-Books – Two Comp.

-Objects

-Rooms? Bedroom/Bathroom/Etc.

-See what can be offered

New Wardrobe

-Normal Cloths – Everything

-Battle Robes and Accessories (Dragon? Basilisk?)

-Wand holster

Books on any subject that might seem important. Must Get:

-Politics, Law and Customs

-Wizard Communities in other Country's

-Potions –Beginners to Master

-Wards

-Charms/Spells/Exex/Curses

-Apparition

-Arithmancy

-Ancient Runes

-Swordsmanship

-Hand to hand combat

-Anything interesting

Ice Box or other means to have food

Potions Equipment and Ingredients

Check out other stores

**3. Shopping in Knockturn Alley for:**

New Familiar: Snake? –Venomous, Intelligent, Rare

Rare books on any subject that might seem important. Must Get:

-Rare

-Rituals

-Parselthongue

-Dark Arts

-Blood Magic

-Mind Arts

-Ancient Magic

-Anything interesting

Potions ingredients

Any object that might be interesting

Explore and see what stores there are

**4. Shopping in Muggle London:**

Clothes

Training Equipment

Books on:

-Meditation

-Martial Arts

-Psychology

-Math

-Any interesting Subject

**5. Find out where he can buy a Pensive.**

**6. Find a way to have more time. (Time Turner?)**

**7. Find a way to do magic without it being registered at the Ministry.**

**8. Find new wand. (****Might solve problem from number 7****)**

**9. Take care of the damage that his treatment at the Dursley's caused:**

Fix Vision

Malnourishment

Any kind of damage to his body

**10. Find a way to not be discovered even if he needs to leave the house often.**

**11. Talk with Dobby. (****Form Bond? Ask about House-Elf's Magic****)**

**12. Research mind and core blocks that might have been used on him.**

**13. Master Occlumency and Legilimency.**

**14. Research his mind connection with Voldemort.**

**15. Find out everything he can about Voldemort and Dumbledore's Past.**

**16. Find out what he can about the Death Eaters and the Dark Mark.**

**17. Find out who he can trust and who has betrayed him.**

**18. Spy on the Order of the Chicken.**

**19. Research the Potter Line.**

**20. Plan revenge on everyone that has had a hand in making his life hell.**

**21. Research how the Ministry and Wizengamot work.**

**0_0_0_0**

It seemed good enough for now since he couldn't think of anything else that should be added. And if something new came up he could always add it later. He wasn't sure if he would be able to do most of it during the summer vacations but even if he couldn't there where some things that could be done once he went back to school. So he was going to focus on what could be done only while he was outside of Hogwarts.

Looking at the clock and saw that it was already 6:30 in the morning and decided to get ready for the day. He wanted to be out of the house before 7 o'clock since it was the time his family normally woke up.

He stacked and ordered the parchments he had been writing everything in and hid them under the floorboard where he hid his most important things, while at the same time taking out his invisibility cloak and wand. He really needed that holster. He couldn't keep putting his wand on his back pocket.

He had decided that as a way to keep his identity secret until he found a better way he was going to take an old baseball hat from Dudley and a hooded jacket. It should be enough until he got to Gringotts. After that he just had to buy a hooded cloak.

After finishing getting ready he grabbed an old backpack and put the jacket and hat inside it. He went to the kitchen to eat something before he left since he didn't want to risk stopping at the Leaky Cauldron to eat and ending up being recognized.

Finally ready to leave he peaked though the living room window and saw the top of the head of Mundungus Fletcher behind a bush. He just had to make sure he was back by tomorrow afternoon at the latest. That was when Moody was going to be watching the house and he would find out in an instant that Harry wasn't there.

Putting his invisibility cloak on and heading to the back yard he made sure there was no one outside and opened the door slowly. He went to the neighbor's fence and climbed it slowly making sure he didn't leave any part of himself uncovered.

Harry made his way to the bus stop two blocks away from his house and finally took of the cloak. Opening the backpack he put on the hat and then the jacket bringing up the hood so it was covering the sides of his face while the hat covered his scar.

Looking at the bus schedule he saw that the one that was going to stop at Kings Cross would be there in 5 minutes and decided to sit and try to relax a little. He had been stealing a little money from his uncle without him noticing so that he could use the Muggle bus instead of the Knight bus since he only had wizarding money. It was a relief that getting out of the house unnoticed had gone so well. But the worst was yet to come and he needed to be prepared for anything. He saw the bus coming and stood up to signal it to stop. He took a deep breath before entering. He was finally taking reign of his life and would make sure everything would go his way for once.


End file.
